heather:it's-it's already recording. lonnie:okay, just... this is my home. oh, you looka little blurry, man. let me zoom out on you. okay. good morning. got it? okay, i got you.
this is my home... okay. wow. which i am leaving the comfortsof for the weekend to explore the blair witch. some essential reading: how to stay alive in the woods 'cause you never knowwhat's going to happen. and thisis a very important book because it has the article
about what happenedat coffin rock. that looks pretty old. yeah, it's totally old;and this is my field notebook. heather:hey, it's mr. punctuality. hey... how the hell are youthis morning? tired. so i got the c.p. up. good...that's important
'cause that's whatwe're shooting on. no one knows i took itbut i got it. all right, come on,into the house. come on, come on. i can see you. i'm not going to bump into shit i'm going backwards now. okay, we don't want to fuck upthe cameras before we leave. so where's mikey at?
we have to go get him. we're supposed to get himat 8:30. which means we're alreadygoing to be behind schedule but it's importantto have juice. that's cool. i guess you're mike. here, wait...stop, stop! ♪ ...more than just a dreamcome true... ♪ don't we getto meet your mama?
see you later, mom! how are you, mike? it's niceto meet you. i'm tired but i'm doing good. i'm real excited about this. thank you for the opportunity. i'm very glad. well, thank you for gettingthe equipment together.
we've got so muchfucking battery power we could fuela small world country for a month. josh:uh, we got rice... and mott's fruit punch. oatmeal raisin, baby. mike:ultimate marshmallows. heather:feel how soft. soft...
mike:hey... josh:you weasel! heather:marshmallows... ( heather shuddering ) do you believein ghosts? have you ever heardof the blair witch? it's... well, it actually soundskind of familiar. my older sister wentto blair high school. heather:the woods
around halloween timeis a creepy enough phenomenon. josh:just tell mea little bit more... i don't want to go cheesy. i want to really avoidany cheese. i want to present this in as straightforwarda way as possible and i think the legendis unsettling enough. josh:you guys wantto get the, uh... ceremonialfirst slate?
heather:absolutely. here he is filling outour first slate for our first shot. shall we all likecut our fingers open and bleed on it? a littleblood-lettingon the slate? heather:no, we'll save thatfor later. kiss it.
kiss the slate. it's the first slate. first slate. marked by my lipstick. mikey, first slate. kiss it. good luck. oh, he licked it;god bless him. you're not supposedto eat it. we need thatfor the shoot.
this is burkittsville,formerly blair. it is a small,quiet maryland town much like a small quiet townanywhere. no more than 20 familieslaid their roots here over 200 years ago,many of whom remain either on this hillor in the town below. there are an unusuallyhigh number of children laid to rest here most of whom passedin the 1940s.
yet, no onein the town seems to recallanything unusualabout this time... to us anyway. yet legend tellsa different story-- one whose evidenceis all around us etched in stone. josh:yee-haw! heather:yee-haw! well, we have shotthe first scene...
the cemetery scene. the opening is shot. uh, we're doinga documentary... yeah? about the blair witch? oh... oh, have you heardof the blair witch? oh, yeah.that's an old, old, old story. as i remember,mr. parr was an old hermit.
right. and he lived upon a mountain. he had a place up there... been there fora long, long time. you've heardof the blair witch? several times. several times? and what wasthe first incident? well, i've heard stories
about her from peopleand neighbors and stuff like that. but also i saw a documentary on the discovery channelor somewhere. really? once about her about the ghostsand legends of maryland. yeah, that's a story my grandmotherused to tell us all.
make us go to bed early. they say if you stay upafter dark or walk around the house too much the blair witchwould come and get you. uh, sort of in the winter,i guess... the fall or winter of 1940 uh, some of the young kidsstarted disappearing. nobody knew anything aboutwhy they were... why they were disappearing.
but the creepiest... uh-oh. that's kindof an omen, isn't it? the creepiest story about herthat i ever heard was that two menwere out hunting... uh-huh. and they were campednear the cabin or something that she's supposed to haunt. no, no, no! and they disappearedoff the face of the earth!
no! okay, it's all right, ingrid. i'm just tellinga scary story but it's not true. it's not true. finally, one day old mr. parrcome down into the market and said,"i'm finally finished." what did he meanby that? well, i guess nobody knewat first
but the police, uh,finally went up on the mountain and, uh, they searched his house and they found the bodiesof seven kids from the area. what he did is he took the kids down intothe basement by twos and he made one faceinto the corner. and then he would killthe other one. and then when he was donewith that he'd grab the oneout of the corner
and kill that one, too. and those were the seven kidsthat were missing. and then they brought themout of the woods one at a time and it just wasa terrible thing. just torethe whole community up. said in court that he couldn'ttake the eyes on him. he could... he could feelthe eyes watching him. that's why he made themface into the corner like that. all my life, really
i've believed in witchesand ghosts and all that stuff. do you believethat there are somein this area? oh, definitely. do you believein witchcraft? no. no? no, sir. are youa religious man? yep.
alrighty. pretty creepy stuff. i believe there's somethinghappening with her. and you thinkthat it's possible she's stillup there now? i don't go up there. you don'tgo up there? i believe enoughnot to go up there. and they say that the woodsare all haunted up there
and stuff like that, but... what do they say? how are they haunted? well, i don't... there really isn't many peoplethat say that it's haunted but there was this old woman,mary brown... mary brown? yeah, and she waskind of crazy. how was she seenby the community?
crazy. that's it--the american flag. that's mary's house. i'm going to grab herand bring her out. why don't you takea look and see whatthe best light is? heather:this is mary's gate. i'm not even surehow i pull this open. 'cause somethinginteresting happenedto you, actually
at one pointin your life. you had an encounterwith the blair witch? um, yes. that is, um, really kindof a scary story. um, to kind of make ends meet my dad and i would go fishingdown by tappy's creek. and, you know,it's, um, in burkittsville. i was laying down on the leaves,upon the leaves, kind of watching my poleand looking up at the sky.
sure. and all of a sudden i felt like somethingwas near me. you know,kind of an eerie feeling. it was like a woman only on her armsand on her hands and everything it was like hair... like a real dark,almost black hair. like a horse.
like fur? yeah, like a fur;like horse fur. then on her arms,she had like a shawl... wool shawl over her. and she scared you? she threatened you? and, um,she didn't say anything but she just kept staring and then she opened upher shawl...
and what wasunder there? and under there was hairon her body like a horse. so she was hairyfrom head to toe? yeah, and her, her legs... and you could seeshe was female. right. howabout her face? it was just kind of likestrange-looking. thank god, she's notin the film business. i mean, could you imagineworking with her?
heather:she thinks she isin the film business. she also saysshe's a ballerina. she saysshe's a historian writing a bookon american history... i heard that. she's a scientist who does researchat the departmentof energy... i fucked up on mary. i'm checking my depthof field chart to see how bad.
heather:so you measuredfor meters, what? we're not in europe. yeah, well, the fucking lenshas meters on it, okay. it also hasour system. no, it has meters on it,look. this is an americancamera, though. all those are meters. what aboutthe brown ones? the brown ones are feet.
yeah, well,the brown onesare on there, right? yeah, but the white onesare obvious. but i thoughtyou've used thiscamera before, man. i've used it, like,once before. how do we feelabout today, guys? i learned a lot, man. mike:yeah. heather:you learned a lotabout mary brown? no, i learned a lotabout like, fucking...
sixteen? just shooting out here. just shooting doc. mike:we kicked some asstoday. here's to... heather:very good day. mike:excellent day. heather:very good first day. okay, we're going to doan equipment check
but i'm goingto call my mom. okay, i've got a bagof utz and a beer. and we don'treally need to get that on film. i guessyou're covered, then. could you just run itfor a couple of feet for me so we can checkthat it's okay? heather:i just want to hear if this magis loaded properly so we can shoot some stuff.
okay, that's good. that's good. that's good,thank you. heather:let's be relaxed 'cause we've got a really,really long day tomorrow. today was cakecompared to tomorrow. we're goingto do a lot of hiking. we're going to have a lotof weight on our backs. i'm preparing.
( laughs ) we're preparing for.that's whatmike: shut up,you smart-ass. pour me a shot,please. i'm freaking out. oh! you can't do that. yes, i... you're the director. you know,at this point
i fucking have to do that,all right? i fucking have to. do we haveany weed? here i go. josh:drink, drink! i fucking hate scotch. ( josh and mike laughing ) there's my friend josh.heather: how are you?
hey. i'm hurting. i'm not ready for that thingthat you don't like, you know... heather:i-i know you don'tlike it. okay. hello. welcome to day two. the trail is somewherealong here. we shouldn't miss it. it should be pretty,pretty obvious.
about the blair witch?you guys say you know something oh, i've heard the myths. i don't really believemuch in it. "the myth"? that's all i think it is. damn fool kids'll never learn. what'd you say, sir? i said, "you damn fool kids'llnever learn." man:aw, shut up.
never learn.""damn fool kids'll that's what i said. say that?and what-what makes you can i have your permissionfirst of all, for the purposesto put your image on video the blair witch project? of a documentary entitled i don't care much about that,but, uh... "yes" or "no," sir.w-well, you have to say, ah, watch it.
oh, sorry. yeah, sure, that's all right. well, some girl back inthe late 1800s robin... weaver,i believe her name was... supposedly just wandered off,disappeared into the woods. wasn't no"supposedly"about it. they wandered off... oh. okay, so,she wandered off.
and she got lost. she got lost. three days later... there wasn't no"supposedly." three d... three days later,she just, uh... appears backon her grandmother's porch... and everybody's mystifiedabout it. she was babbling something... she had a tale totell, too, though.
yeah, she was babbling somethingabout the, uh... an old woman whose feetnever touched the ground. did... did you... i'll tell you, i sawright up there by that tree up the creek--i told you that-- right, i know. about a hundred yards,i saw a white misty thing that i can't tellwhat it is, one day. it was, like, a graylike, gray vapor risingout of the trees?
right out of the water. near the trees.right out of the water, up the side of the treeand it disappearedover them... now you're full of it. no, i'm not full of it and i wasn't drinkingthat day, either. you were probably drinkingthat day. no, i wasn'tdrinking that day. so, now, now, now, how isthat related to the storyof coffin rock?
well, it all ties in tothe story of coffin rock. how's that? i mean, anybody worththeir salt around here knows that thisarea's been haunted by that old woman for years. oh, that's bullshit. josh:this is some serious woodswe're heading into. are you excited?heather: you got it.
a whole shitload of stock.i hope he's not rolling off ( birds chirping ) ( chuckling ):yeah. i could help youmike ( chuckling ): and record.but i'd rather stand packs are on?heather: we're rocking.let's rock. we're ready to go. we got to go up to theshack... the shanty?
yeah. wow. ( mess kit rattling ) yeah, it's like we're offto the andes or something. this is a very heavy backpack.oh, my god, on our wayto coffin rock. we are totally on track. i knowexactly where we are now. josh:hey, mikey,throw me the video camera.
no, don't. mike:i want to... i wantto get her going across, man. ( laughing ) i see a dirty behind. josh:yeah. good jump. thank you, thank you. heather:there it is. see?
( whispering ):that's coffin rock. mike:go. "they went into the woods,prepared to find death. "what they found wasa desecration of humanity "at the site which trappershave often referred to "as coffin rock. "on top of the rock formation "the storyof the torture inflicted "upon these bravefive men unfolded.
"each was boundto the other "each man's hands boundto the next man's feet "forming a solid structureout of the men. "blood at the edgesof the head indicate "that this act had committed...been committed "while each was alive "and able-bodied enoughto struggle. "in the torsoof each man "the intestines had beentorn out crudely.
"on each man'ssun-bleached face "was inscribedindecipherable writing "cut into their fleshwith an eerie precision. "the men,still entranced "by the horrorof what had happened "left the sceneto find the sheriff "and did not sketchthe writing "and did not remove the bodiesfrom the rock. "upon return,vultures were seen at the rock.
"but upon inspection "the bodies had been removedby persons unknown. "the search party claimed "that the stench of deathwas still thick "and whomeverhad taken the bodies had done soin a matter of hours." that happened here...at coffin rock. it felt really rushed 'cause i really wantto get to camp
and it's 4:52and we're going to be light... we're goingto be losing light soon... um, but, i mean i can always use the shotwithout me in it because i-i recorded soundin the rock reading the whole thing. so, i'm sure i canedit it together somehow. ( sighs ) it's starting to rain.
what'd you do,rent this thing? yeah.heather: for three people.well, i don't have a tent i'm not used to...you know, no, i-i'm just wondering. with two men,i'm not usually traveling what i'm saying.if you know it is pouring rainright now. we can't evenget a fire going.
show the kids at homewhat the stick is for. look at that. we've gotour very own leaning post. if you get too much ass smellin the night... heather:okay, who-who wouldn'tlet me have a cigarettein the tent but he's allowed to fartas much as he wants? um, i reallydon't think it's... no, i-i never gave mikeany fart allowance.
so, you heard noiseslast night? so, i totally heard noise. see, the problem isi sleep like a fucking rock. it was like there weretwo separate noises coming from two layersof space over here and one of them waskind of, like... one of them could havepossibly been an owl but the other one was, like,a cackling... no way.
wa-was a definite... it was a total cackling, man. if i heard a cackling, iwould've shit in my pants. josh:where'd westart out yesterday? uh, off the map.heather: "off the map." where we were going.'cause i knew though i know there wassome confusion, but today... wait, wait, wait.
say that again. i said,"i-i knew where we were going." wait, wait, wait,wait, wait. would that bea full-of-shit statement? no, i did... i did know where... josh:all i'm saying isthat you got us lost, man. heather:for a very briefamount of time. it was very brief.
mike:just don't get us lost today. yeah, serious. i'm not. i know whereall these places are. so, what's up? they're all verywell-documented. are you happy with the waythe documentary's going? yes, i am. yeah... and i'mvery pleasantly surprised by our little mikey.
mike:"our little mikey"? ( laughing ):"our little mikey." ( groans ) ( heather and josh laughing ) he's a very spirited young man. what's your takeyou think... i mean, at this point?on the blair witch she exists?do you think i don't know.
josh:heather, i really wishyou'd found a trail to get us... of this hill, don't worry.there's a trail on topheather: it is a trail. josh:this is not a trail. don't we?we like shortcuts,heather: ( panting ) we like level...shortcuts. we don't likemountain shortcuts. heather:it's a little warmer today.
so, this is the first timewe're seeing mike's chest. uh, it's really hardto pick up on video, actually. mike has really sporadichair patterns on his chest. it's like a symbol, man.josh: it's, like, blank... hairy...blank... hairy. you should see my ass. josh:look, look. it's fucking uruguay,right there, right there. heather:wow.
you guys... there's paraguayover here. yeah, whatever. i see bolivia.look, i think what killedthis dead mouse? witchcraft? how about god?josh: ( chuckles ) josh:is thatthe blair witch?
i think it's heathertaking a piss. you know,this is really not too good. i really have to go. don't torture me. oh, go. heather:we are hoton the cemetery trail. it should only be a... mike:says you. what?
says you. says me,of course... and... we should be hitting itin about 90 minutes. you guys coolwith that? 90 minutes.heather: as long as you knowwhere we're going. can you hang? where we're going.i know exactly josh feels it's necessaryto look at the map now
even though i knowwhere we're going and we're goingstraight ahead up there. okay, if you've knownwhere we're going we wouldn't be hiking like... we're in the middle ofthe fucking woods, man. how could you possibly know,because people told you? some of it isoff-trail hiking. because people told you? "oh, yeah, there's a cemeteryback in there."
if we're lost,admit that first, because... i know we're not lost.we're n... n... oh, you knew thatyesterday, too and you knew thattwice today. bullshit, and i...look... no, been lost at all today.and we have not that's... that is not true. not once. where we're going.i know
okay, this iswhere we were. that is... let me tell you whatyou said to us. it's, like, two miles away. then, it's, like,okay, two hours away... three hours away. okay, just-justchill. just chill. maybe it's four hours away. how-how could you... did you agree to dothis project?
i did. i agreedto a scouted-out project. i didn't agree to just trouncearound the woods. it is scouted outand i told you... mike, mike, wasn't going to be easy.that getting to the locations mike, mike, okay! guys!guys, it's cool, it's cool. please, you're being asmart-ass, you're beinga smart-ass... le-let's just...we're looking at the map. we're going to find thisthe best we can.
i can totally find this. this is where we were. we're goingmore or less this way. okay, what's your call? i mean, where do you thinkwe're going? i'll tell you the truth. this is, like... this is greek to me. right.heather:
it's useless. exactly. so, i'm just putting my, uh,trust in you that you know where it is. well, good. although i got to tell you,i don't fully trust you. and i...no, i'm not going to say it. nothing--i don't know why you have to have every conversationon video, man.
tape some ambiance. 'cause we're makinga documentary. not about us getting lost. we're making a documentaryabout a witch. i have a camera. doesn't hurt 'cause we'll all lookback on this and laugh heartily,believe me. mike:baby steps, man,baby steps.
heather:just breathe and don'tlook down, maybe? no, you've gotto look down. you're goingto have to crawl. i'm hittingthe crawl. cool. think about how coolthe fucking cemetery is going to be whenwe get there. think of the joyof being in areally good film. okay, shutthe fuck up.
okay, i'm quiet. shit. how ami going to do this? okay, mikey? dude, there's no wayyou're coming across with your daton your belly, man. no, way, man. josh:there's no chance. heather:how are we going to getthe dat across then? it's reallyfucking hard, man.
how are we going toget the dat across? that shit thismorning with themoss was cool. this stuff'sslippery as shit. um... i don't know. let me getout of here and putmy pack down. mike:i'll just goback and forth. you want to goback and forth? you can do itthat way.
mike:i didn't want to dothis at all, but... okay, well,let's do... yeah, we'll do itback and forth. ( splash ) oh sh--what'd you drop? josh:i didn't dropanything. the tree justbroke on me. oh, fuck. heather:we're very, very,very close now.
you guys excited? what's this? josh:whoa. what is this? dude... guys? do you remembersomething that mary brown saidthe other day? what was the storyfrom the bible that she wastelling us?
fuck, i wasn'tlistening to her 'cause i thoughtshe was a lunatic. it was esau, but itwas something abouta pile of rocks. josh:she was totally tellingus about her rocks, man. well, what the fuckwas it about apile of rocks? does anybodyremember? to... live your life...
josh:this is like... josh:looks like an indianburial ground, man. heather:see, i don't knowif this counts. three... four... five... six... seven. heather:witches in days gone by were roasted just likemy vienna sausage. flames are licking youlike the devil there, josh.
♪ sit right backand you'll hear a tale ♪ ♪ a taleof a fateful trip ♪ ♪ that started on thisdesert isle ♪ ♪ aboard this tiny ship. ♪ heather:yeah, but this shiphas a good captain not a fat, beer-guzzlingguy in a blue shirt. mike:he wasn't beer-guzzling. josh:they had no beeron the island, man. if they'd had beer
they would have had,like, big-ass orgies. heather:you're kind of likethe captain and mike's kindof like your gilligan. no offense. that's all right. i mean thatas a compliment. gilligan wasa funny guy. the captain was fat, though. heather:well, okay.
let's call ita thin captain. mike:let's not call itthe captain anymore you illiteratetv people. it's the skipper. ( heather laughing ) no more captain. oh, my. here we are backat the rock again. the rock thing.
the cemetery deal. heather:i just want to be carefulnot to get in the film shot. it certainly is odd. ( heather gasps ) you didn't justknock that over. please tell me you didn'tjust knock that over. josh:i did justknock that over. that's not very nice. let me put it back.
can't be too careful. heather:what'd you think? it was... you know,the same thing, only darker. heather:yeah, pretty much. all right. bag it up,put it away. heather:hello? ( tapping camera ) shit. no light.
( snapping ) we were sleeping. josh:do you want this? just keep it bythe opening in the tent. shh. listen. ( cracking ) hello? it's all around us.
that is fucking weird. michael, are you sayingyou're not coming down? michael:i ain't goingdown there. why not? because i'm not.i don't hear sh... because you'refucking scared. because i don't hearanything anymore. you could not denyhearing it. get your ass out.what's the big deal?
josh:this rainfucking blows, man. heather:i know. it's rainingvery heavily. thank my mom for giving me rain gearfor my 18th birthday. god bless her. what do you thinkthat was last night? personally? i think it was someonefucking with your head.
but nobody knowswe're out here. yeah, but you ever see deliverance? heather:did you understand at allwhere i was coming from? that i just wanted... whatever it was,i didn't know... you were freaking out.you bugged me out. i was freaking out. i woke upall of a sudden and shit'sgoing down.
all i can thinkis i got to get it. i got to get it. i want it on sound,i want it on 16. if anything,if we can see anything i want to see it on 16. well, it sounded to me like a bunch of peoplerunning around and i'm not down with messingwith the locals or whatever. i don't know who the hellwould come out here.
what bugs me out is thatwe're so damn deep in the woods and people are goingto try and... and come out hereand mess with us then they got to havesomething wrong with them. and i'm not goingto play with that. well, how do weknow it was people? well, even if it wasn't i'm not going to playwith that, either. heather:fuck, man.
this has beena very long day. a very wet...very long day. nobody's reallyspeaking to me at the moment. dude, i don't remembera portion of this from walking in. heather:what? i don't remembera portion of this from walking infrom the car.
well, we have to goa little differently to get back, becausewe went around in a curvea little bit. i'm telling you guys,two more hours max. josh:if the way we came inwas a shortcut why the fuck are we goingback a different way? to go around.because we have the most direct waywe came... that was two locations.to hit our
direct way back to the car.now, this is the most seriously, really? yes. seriously. you know exactlywhat's going on? yes. let's just keep going. we'll wait five minutesand do a map check. okay, we just dida map check and it seems like
we're still prettymuch on trail. that's not what i said. no, i thinkwe're all right. come on, let's justkeep going. we tooka map reading. we just follow whatthe compass says. we're goingstraight ahead. we're going that way.that way. josh:we are in the middleof nowhere.
heather:we've been in the middleof nowhere for two days. the car is parkedin the middle ofnowhere almost. josh:like look at this shit.this is nothing. okay, let's justkeep going, all right? heather:i think weshould camp. josh:get the fuck out of here. why? because you don't knowwhere we're going? no, because i thinkwe're still a waysoff from the car and it's going to begetting dark real soon.
look, i'm notsaying for certain... we're not camping here. maybe we're near the car... get us home. turn the camera offand get us home. give methe fucking map. give me the map.heather, give me the map. turn the camera offand give me the map. mike:turn the camera offand get us home.
heather:i'm not turningthe camera off. i want to markthis occasion. give me the map. the map is inmy pocket. you're going to haveto wait a second. you want to seethe map? mike:goddamn! heather:shush. if we keep our heads togetherwe'll be just fine.
mike:fucking bullshit! josh:mike, chill. heather:just relax, mike. mike:don't fucking tell meto relax! let's walk up,find a treeto sit under or some shit,check the map... yes, can we finda place to sit to checkthe map, please? josh:are you happy?
heather:i'm not happy, no. but the car is not far. we're just not goingto be able to findit in the dark. mike:are you absolutely,positively sure? yes.i'm so sorry, man. we can probably stillget the dat back tomorrow. mike:we have to. we have to. we will. we will. we will get the dat backbefore it's dueback tomorrow.
i've got to getthe fucking camera back. i got to fucking work. everything willget back tomorrow. i got to work.i'm supposed to be at worktomorrow at 9:00, man. i know. josh:it's fine.let's just go to sleep. let's camp. let's justfucking camp, okay? heather:shh, shh.i want to get it.
i want to get itfrom inside the tent. ( rustling ) whatever it waslast night it sounds likethe same fucking thing. ( tent zipper zipping ) where's my boots? aw, fuck, it's cold. aw, shit. it's fucking freezing.
there. i hear it. josh:i don't hear shit. you hear that? ( distant snapping ) shit. mike:i think it'sjust a deer. it could be deer,i guess. i don't fucking thinkit's deer, though, man.
it sounds exactly likethe shit last night. it's on all sides of us. mike:it's got to bejust like a deer. josh:it was a deer, man. heather:i think it was a... mike:it wasn't like last night. heather:shh. shh. mike:did you hearanything? yes! fucking listen.
okay, let's get it on dat.let's get it on dat. be quiet. mike:okay, it's on. josh:jesus christ! what the fuck is that?! it's obviously not scaredby our yelling. but it soundslike footsteps. mike:i know. that's a fucking person.
mikey, i'm not seeingshit on video. i'm going to leavethe rest for dat, all right? i'm going to stayout here with you, though. mike:you got to fuckingstay out here with me. i am, i am. what time is it? is it fucking anywherenear morning right now? let me see... please say it'sfucking 5:00
or some shit. 3:00. fuck! bullshit. this is absolutelyfucking crazy. i'm sorry, mike. we should be outof here already. this has got nothing...nothing to do with what the fuckwe're here for.
i swear to god,this is bullshit. heather:woke up this morningjust, like, two seconds ago and there are piles of rocksoutside of our tent. there are three, actually. josh:are you seriously fuckingpositive those weren't there when we camped last night? i am seriously fucking positivethese were not here. how would we have, like,just made a campsite in between three piles of rocksjust by coincidence?
you don't thinkthis is strange? this is way fucking weird but it really doesn't matterat this point because all i want to dois get to the goddamn car. whatever it is, man...whatever it is at this point... whatever it is... i know, i know. we have to get backto the car. we're obviouslynot wanted here
okay, okay.... we're going home. so let's getthe hell out. we have to go-- we haveto get the dat back anyway. i realize that.that's what i'm saying. okay, let's go. let's get the dat back. okay, we'reout of here. let's get our shit packed up.let's walk.
we're out of here.we're out of here. can we just walk? yes. we'reout of here. okay. cool. i can't believewe have to leave just when shit's happening. heather,put the fucking camera down. let's pack up the tent. okay! hang on.
let's get the fuckout of the woods, okay? come on! no, i'm not fucking scared. i'm just tired, i'm hungry,i'm fucking, like... i'm just fucking done, man. i'm just fucking done. did you take it? josh:no, i didn't takethe fucking map, man. i'm-i'm not playinghead games.
if anyone's playinghead games you're playing head games. but i'm not playinghead games. i don't have it;we have to go. i'm serious--i don't have it. are youfucking serious? i'm fucking serious. i don't have the map,okay? heather, that isso not cool, man.
i know it's not cool! that isso not cool! i know it's not cool. that is... that... i mean that's the fucking,like, least responsible thing you could havepossibly done, man. i know that. mike:you reallydon't have it? one of you have gotto have the map.
josh:no, i don't have the map. we gave it back to youafter map check yesterday. you've alwayshad the map. i know, and i've always hadthe map in the same place and if it's not there,one of you had to have taken it. i'm not goinginto your fucking pants to get yourgoddamn map, man. i just checked my pocket;it's not in my pants! look, would i go inand get your map?
all i want to dois get out of here, man. i'm not fucking around. that's all i want, too, man. mike:let's go! no, you want to stay here,you want to film rocks you want to look around,you want to fucking, like let's go! get this,you want to get that. which wayare we walking?
that way. dude, we're in the middleof the fucking woods! we're in the middleof the goddamn woods! we can walk any way... 'cause that's the waywe're going this way we've been goingfor a fucking day. we're going this way,and that's it. we got to come acrosssomething. josh:i gave you backthe map, heather.
i gave you the map. i gave you backthe map! let's just go. all i'm saying is,we can move as fast as we want but if we have no fucking cluewhere we're moving to then it really doesn't matter,does it? we're followingthe creek and mike seemssatisfied with that. would you guysstop it?!
( heather gruntsand pants ) mike:we are fucked,we are done we are dead,we're fucked. i'm just going to stay here. when you guys find somebody tell them i'm under this treewith the vine. all blame aside... this is really fucked up. we really,really need towork together.
i realize this. exactly.exactly. okay. so we dealwith the fact that my camera's notgoing to be back your dat's notgoing to be back. no blame from now onabout that shit. look-- serious,the area's not that fucking big. it's very hard to get lostin america these days and it's even harderto stay lost.
so, we have thaton our side. well, we're doing apretty goddamn goodjob of being lost. at this point,when you're not home today when i'm not home today, peopleare going to start noticing. like, my girlfriendis definitely going to notice that i'm not back today, andthat i haven't fucking called. i mean, if i called,it would be one thing. but, you know,if i just get back-- like, don't get back, period--
and i don't call,she's going to notice which means that by tonight,if we haven't found shit someone's going to belooking for us. oh, no! don't come this way. go another way. go down there. i just got my whole shit wet. ( mike laughing )
oh, shit.heather: it this way.well, let's try josh:i don't think you wantto try this way. i think you wantto try the other way. these fucking packsif we didn't have it would be so much easier. i don't mean to laugh. mike:my feet are wet. heather:are you... is thatmichael laughing?
mike:shut the fuck upand cross the stream. heather:he's laughing. michael, that isthe first time i've heard youlaugh in days. ( michael laughing ) you find it very amusingi'm really happyheather: incredibly uncomfortablethat i'm going to be for the rest of the day. aw.... dude, uncomfortjust does not even...
can we keep going, please? no, we're goingto chill out. to get to the car.i thought you wanted oh, boy! okay, come on.let's get up here. oh, shit. about the map, were you?you guys weren't lying to me you guys are having'cause this just seems like too much fun for my taste.just a little bit
oh, heather,heather... we're going alittle stir crazy. heather, heather, if youmake me yell at this point i'm really going to haveto yell at you, man. if you have the map,come on, seriously, that you have it.i just want to know just to know that you have it.that would just make me happy heather... and i can at least see itif i know that you have it,
i will feel much better. all we're trying to dois be cool with you. well, i find it very coolthat i get laughed at because my shoes are wetfor the rest of the day. i find itfucking hilarious. heather, dude,all our shoes are wet. we were laughingat the situation. fine. we're fucking hungry,we're fucking tired.
what the hell elseare we supposed to doat this point? ( laughing ):you know what?i kicked the fuck-- i'm sorry, it's fucked up,it's fucked up-- but i kicked that fucking mapinto the creek yesterday. it was useless. i kicked that fuckerinto the creek. he's kidding.i fucking hopeheather: aah-hoo! wow! josh:mike?
holy shit! he's kidding.i really fucking hope josh:mike, are you kidding? heather:i really fucking hopehe's kidding. mike, are youfucking kidding? i'm sorry, man.i'm sorry. be kidding me.you've got to fucking be kidding me!you have got to josh:you think this isa fucking game?!
get the fuckoff me, man! heather:what the fuck?! your fucking mind?!are you out of no, i'm not out of my mind! that map wasn't doing shitfor us. not to you--do you realize-- that map said!but i knew what the fuck i'm sorry! you are a fucking asshole!
i'm sorry. and if we...you're a fucking asshole! that map wasn't doing shitall day! here, it's your fucking fault!if we get hurt or if we die out it is your fucking fault! do you understand?! you could be such an asshole!i can't believe were you thinking?!what the fuck you're just fuckingwith my shit here!
i'm not, i'm not...okay, no... i'm not!that map was useless! if this wasyour own... that map was useless! useless to you!it was okay...okay. this is not whyi brought youout here, man. i'm sorryabout the map, man. what can i say?
"sorry"? the map wasn't doing shit. please, justdon't say sorry. the map was notworth shit to you. i knew exactly wherewe were on that map. it wasn't worth shitto both of you. i asked you... listen to me! i knew exactly wherewe were on that map! yesterday i asked youwhat fucking river we were on.
you shut up or i'm goingto fucking stick your head... get this fucking camera off! heather:give me the compass. you've betrayed usall beyond...way fucking beyond... bullshit, man. give me the compass. you betrayed uswhen you couldn't get us out of the woodslast night. yeah, thanks.
josh:can i holdthe fucking compass now? can i holdthe fucking compass? no. i boughtthe compass. if you wanted a compass i don't give a shit... you should havebought your ownfucking compass. you fucked us up.he fucked us up. i don't know why you-- let's just keepwalking south.
can't admit that you've beenscrewed from the momentwe got out here, man. because i haven't!because i haven't. heather:why are we stopped? why are we stopped? does...does anybody have a... just don't.just don't. does anybody have a reasonwhy we're stopped? that's alli'm asking you. what about the planto keep going south?
we all seemed very happywith that plan. why is that not...a thing anymore? ( softly ):oh, jesus christ. ( sniffling ) mike:there's all sortsof stuff down here! what kind of stuff? like, voodoo shit. what?! like, voodoo stuff.
it's hanging all over.look around you. mike:it's all over the place. holy shit. come up here, quick! i need to use the c.p. yeah, there's all sortsof shit up here, man. this isfucking crazy shit. please, i got toget this on 16. josh:take the fucking camera.
what the fuck is this? i have no idea. josh:jesus christ,that's fucking creepy. mike:this is no redneck. no redneck is this creative. can we get outof here now? josh:yeah, please? okay, i've got everythingon video, man. oh, jesus christ, i didn't evenfucking see these, man.
that's it, heather. heather, you've got enough, man.let's go. mike:that's enough! stop taping! please, stop taping! josh:let's go! okay, okay, okay,we're leaving right now. okay. okay,we're out of here. we're out of here. i'm leaving.
mike:come on! turn it off! ( yells ) help! please, help us! help us! this is not the wayto get out of here. i think it's safeto say at this point that we're lost and i don't knowwhat to do.
i think we should all getinside the tent. mike:let's not lighta fire tonight. because two nightsin a row we've lit a fire. we didn't light onethe first night... ...and nothing happened. and nothing happened. we light fires, they know. i haven't heardanything follow us. we should even turnthat light off, too.
all right.all right. josh:seriously, man. anything that's going to attract it to usat this point. okay. let's just goto sleep. ( distant whispering voices ) ( gasping ) oh, god. ( zipping tent )
what's that sound? ( eerie hooting ) ( gasps ) ( eerie voice ) mike:oh, jesus! jesus christ,little kids. what was that? oh, jesus christ. i'm going to putjeans on.
oh, jesus! oh, jesus! take the video camera. no, get the dat ready. josh:i'm going to takethe video camera. i want to recordthis shit. ( voice laughing ) mike:oh, dear god!oh, dear god! shh! shh! shh! mike:go! fucking go!
oh, god! god! fucking god! hurry up! i'm coming! my boots aren't laced! oh, my god! what the fuck is that! oh, shit! mike, where are you going?
mike:turn the lights off. turn that light off. turn it off, josh. all lights off.all lights off. ( whispering ):i'm soaking. that's okay. what's that? what the fuck isgoing on? going on?what the fuck is
did you hearthat baby screaming? josh:shh! shut the fuck up. there's no fucking babyout there. heather:yes, there was. shh. okay. okay. mike:i haven't heard anythingsince we ran away. oh, my god, it's cold. we should bequiet, okay? okay, okay.
we should be quiet. i don't hear anythinganymore. we should go back. mike:how long havewe been here? a fucking hour. the sun's up. we're okay now. mike:let's just get back. let's pack shit up.
let's get out. what the fuck, man? heather:where's my pack? mike:your pack is right there. where's my pack? how come we're gettingfucked with like this? mike:they just opened it up. they spilled allmy fucking water. that lookslike slime, man.
it's just water, man. oh, it is slime. what the fuckis that? it's slime, dude. let's get thisshit packed up and get out of here. come on, heather. turn that thing off. heather, come on.
heather, let'smove it. i'm not interestedin anything anymore. i know! i know! so, turn it off. relax for just a second. have we gotteneverything here? like i give a shit. whose shit wasthrown around? it's my shit!
who specifically? my shit. why you? let's go! let's go. are you not scared enough?! no, but why you? put the camera down. this is not funny. this is...
do i look like i'mlaughing at all? no, but you're going around doing your documentary thing, man. you're still doingyour fucking thing. don't fucking...! then turn thegoddamn thing off! if you bite meone more time i will throw youin the fucking woods. you touch my cameraone more time
i'll bite you again. turn that thing off! sorry. i didn'tmean it, okay? are you all right? i'm fine. i just... i want to go home,but it's import... i just wantto get what we can. what the fuck?
is this possible? okay, all right. i hate crossing streamson logs. if i never crossanother stream on a log for the restof my life i will diea happy girl. josh:i see why you likethis video camera so much. you do? it's not quite reality.
mike:reality sayswe got to move. josh:no, but it's totally likea filtered reality, man. it's like you can pretendeverything's not quite the way it is. mike:just leave him alone for now. we need to go. just leave him alonefor five minutes. mike... just leave him alone.
five minutes. come on. he's lost it. i know thatbut we're all on the brink ofof losing it. i know we are.we got to take careof each other and there's no way we'retaking care of him if we're going to throwthe camera in his face if he's crying. i know you know.
i know we're bothabout to lose it but let's try and keepthe last wits we have. we have to... i understand we have to go.believe me, i know. it's hard for all of usto hold it together. we need to get outof here in one piece and this is not helping. you're not telling meanything i don't know. just let him have his...
a cigarette?does anybody have no, man. no, there's none left. nobody has any cigarettes? we're out. what the fuck was this bluejelly shit all over my shit?! let's go.let's go. if we keep going south,we will get out. please?
i don't want to set up campanother fucking night, man. heather:josh, none of us do. i know. i know you don't. mike:whatever it is isgoing to come back. we know thatfor a fact. we don't know thatfor a fact. it came threenights in a row and it's gettingworse every night. i would loveto hear this right now.
i really would. i'm just trying to say,that, you know ...rationally say. they might very wellgo on forever compared to our footsteps. not, not possible. not possiblein this country. josh:why is it not possible? heather:because this is americaand it's not possible.
we've destroyedmost of our natural resources. ♪ america, america,god shed your grace on thee! ♪ josh and mike:♪ what so proudly we hailed ♪ ♪ at the twilight'slast gleaming ♪ no, that's thetree we crossed. that tree is down. that's the same one. oh, god! heather:no. oh, no.
you've got to bekidding me! this is a joke! no... this is not funny! mike, just please stop. please... please stop. please stop. no, mike, it's notthe same log. it's notthe same log, mike.
the same one! look, it's not. it is! open your eyes! it's notthe same log. ( sobbing ):it's not... it's not the same log. fuck. ( heather sobbing ) it's the same log.
fuck... you... god! ( sobbing continues ) it's okay. where do youwant to go to camp? i guess today,south didn't work out so tomorrow,we'll go east. i don't knowwhat to say, josh. how the fuck did we walk southall day and wind up...? we've walked southall day, okay?
we walked southall fucking day. i don't know howwe ended up here. do you expect me to dosomething or say something? what do you want to do, josh? josh? josh:i want to makemovies, heather. isn't that whatwe're here to do? let's makesome movies. fuck you.
fuck you. really.fuck you. please, let'snot fight. please. come on, i can't. i can't listen to fighting. i can't fight. we're screwed and that's it. please stop fighting. both of you. um, i'll dothe first watch.
i got first watch. josh:come on, you cando better than that. mike:this is not the placeor the time, guys. we have things toprepare for here. okay, here'syour motivation. you're lost,you're angry in the wood and no one hereis here to help you. there's a fucking witchand she keeps leaving shit outside your door.
josh. there's no onehere to help you. she left little trinkets. you fuckingtook one of them. she ran after us. josh! we walkedfor 15 hours today. we ended upin the same place. just stop.
that's yourmotivation! would you please... stop? that's yourmotivation. just quit it. she's had enough. come on, man, you gother back. good one. no, she's stillmaking movies, man. that's my point. this ismy point here.
it's all i fuckinghave left, okay. just please stop. just please stop yellingat me, please. come on, i'mfucking tired of cryingall day here. we got to thinklike human beings. we have thingsto prepare for. we got to make shifts. we got lots to do.
you going to write usa happy ending, heather? come on, man,turn it off. you're gettinglike she was. come on,turn it off. josh:dude, i can'tbelieve we're even stitchingthose pants at this point, man. mike:well, uh,i'm cold, man. i hear you.
the smallest comfortswe can get are good. doesn't it justseem absurd, though,at this point? yes, it does. a lot of thingsseem absurd. like sleepingright where we were pretty muchsleeping last night. that, that's justfucking me up, period. that's just fucked up, man. that's just...
i'm sorry, man. you chill.it's all right. i'm sorry, heather. who wants acheeseburger? i do. i do. i got a cheeseburgerin my back pocket. do you? can i have a lightto cut this? you know whati fucking love?
mashed potatoes. me, too. my mom'smashed potatoes. you'll have them againvery soon. my mom'smashed potatoes and a piece of ass. heather:josh! fuck, mike, we nevergo out of earshot. mike:hold on, calm down.
how could i...? ( screaming ):josh! he's probably at theriver or something. if he was at the river,he could hear me from here. shh. got to waitfor him to respond. do you rememberwhat he said yesterday? about, about this shiton his bag-- about how... let's go.we got to find him.
come on. we can't evenfind the car! how the fuck are wegoing to find josh? no. no. i'm fine. come here, come on. relax, relax. all right,we'll relax. we'll breakdown the tent.
when he's back, we'llbe ready to go, okay? i'm losingmy mind, mike. josh hasn'tcome back. ( mike in distance ):heather! i'm over here, mike. i don't knowif josh ran off. i don't... all his shit's here. i've got the camera.
i don't knowhow the fuck i'm going to hikewith that camera, but... you sure youwant to take that fucking camera? we've got totake the camera. heather:how do you feelabout east? how do you feelabout east? well, southdidn't work. which wicked witch was worse--
the wicked witch of the eastor the wicked witch of the west? the wicked witchof the west was the bad one. well, let's go east. heather:what the hell's that? we're going to put upthe tent now. i'm going to havea meatball. just one meatball? and a long,red glass of wine.
yeah, i would definitely have a whole fuckingbottle of bordeaux. and a fresh pack of smokes. smokes wouldbe good and a long,hot bath. and a big pumpkin pie. a big pumpkin pie? with ice cream? warm, withmelty ice cream.
yeah, that sounds good. what's your favorite thingto do on a sunday? um, it used to be driveto the woods and go hiking. but, um... i think that... i think you canscratch that off. that might change now. ( distant shout ) heather:oh, god. should we go for him?
is it a trick? ( agonized shouts ) josh?! ( unzipping tent zipper ) it's stopped. where's itcoming from? josh, where are you?! tell me where you are! ( shouting )
( whispers ):stop now. do you thinkthat it's them fucking with us? ( shouts ) is it over here? no, it's over here. well, look for him. ( whimpering ) i don't know ifit's really him.
i don't even knowwhere to look. tell me whereyou are, josh! mike? hmm. please don't fall asleep. i can't fall asleep. whatever it is,knows that josh is gone. if that was josh he would have saidwhere he was.
well, whatever it was,sounded like josh. i just want to showthat mike is here. he's sleeping. what the hell is that? there's somethingout here. ( heather gasping with fright ) okay. okay. okay. okay, i'm justgoing to move it from the frontof the tent.
get rid of it. okay...i'm taking it away. i'm taking it awayfrom the front of the tent. i'm just, um, throwing it... we'll just keep walking. okay? just keep walking. i found some cigarettes. i found them all the wayat the bottom of my pack.
which means we're still alive,'cause we're smoking. ( heather whispering ):i have to be very quiet... it's all full of blood. ( loud gasp ) ( screams and gasps ) ( frightened gasping ) ( crying ) shit... shit. shit...
oh, my god... okay... okay, see.okay... yeah?! what are you doing? i'm okay. i'm just washingmy hands off. i'm going toput my gloves on... i'm going to put my gloveson my hands.
i'm going to putmy gloves on my hands. you all right? i'm okay... okay. i'm okay. i'm okay. you need help? no... no,i don't need any help. what happened? nothing.nothing happened. i'm just very hungryand i'm very tired
and i'm very scared and i just want to go home,okay? but i'm fineand we're both okay. ( crying ):okay. ow. my hair's caught. thank you. thank you. 2,130 games-- one more seasonand cal ripken is king! cal ripken is king!
and i won't get to see it 'cause i'll be in the woods! tell me you're noteating a dry leaf. i just want to apologize to mike's mom and josh's mom and my mom... and i'm sorry to everyone. i was very naive. i am so, so sorry
for everythingthat has happened because in spiteof what mike says now, it is my fault because it was my project and i insisted... i insisted on everything. i insisted that we weren't lost. i insisted that we keep going. i insisted that we walk south.
everything had to be my way and this is wherewe've ended up and it's all because of methat we're here now-- hungry... and cold... and hunted. ( weeping ) i love you, mom and dad. i am so sorry. ( soft grinding noise )
what is that? i'm scared to close my eyes. i'm scared to open them. i'm going to die out here. heather:you got it? josh:you ready? man:somebody! please don't goout there. you ready?
here, take this light. man:please! it can't be him. ( man talking in distance ) man:please, follow my voice! holy shit...it's a house. watch your step. holy shit.holy shit. mike...mike... mike.
mike, where are you? come on.in the house. mike, do not go in there,please. ( man yelling in distance ) ( man in distance ):mike! mike, please. i'm right here! where is he? mike, please don't...!
is he in here? ( man screaming ) oh, jesus. are you going upstairs? ( distant yelling continues ) i hear him.i hear him. i hear you! oh, i'm goingupstairs! ( whimpering ):oh, god... oh...
( distant screaming ) where are you?! come on. josh? i hear him downstairs. i hear him downstairs! mike! wait! oh, shit.oh, shit. josh? josh, is thatyou down there?
mike!mike! ( whimpering ):josh... mike! mike! ( hysterically ):mike! mike! mike! mike! mike! ( camera thudding ) ( film whirring )
